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1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, birds, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes "that noise", it's usually not a good thing.
 

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13. I will not give mom or dad kisses after licking my crotch.

14. I will not stand in the doorway and bark for attention between the hours of 10 pm and 7 am.

15. I will not mistake the kitchen garbage for an all-you-can-eat buffet.
 

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LOL! I had to post this on Facebook from Fergus. Too funny. Thanks, I needed a pick me up.
 
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