hahaha, Mrs. Soundtrack. that is a funny poem ^_^
I get bathed once/week with mild shampoo because i go to daycare & run around the schoolyard a lot. like Doppler & Virga, I also get my ears cleaned once/week after my bath.
Not sure if i smell like what ur basset smells like. some former basset owners say i don't smell 'bassety' but who knows for sure? Like Mikey said, if it's the really foul smell, that smells like fish, that's more likely to be stuff that comes out of the anal glands. that would be a different issue.
My people try to minimize the "doggy" smell of the apartment, so they open the windows & patio doors a lot, wash my beddings once/month, and light some scented candles-- seems to help.
good luck & welcome. even if we r a bit stinky, we r very, very sweet.