[charvie]

I don't know if you remember a while ago the fiasco with my mother (we share a home) and for a time things were alright, but she began demanding I find different homes for the hounds ...

... I mentioned it on here in case anyone living close by might have some ideas ... I wanted to make sure if they had to go they went to good homes.

But I got a different job and I've been home more taking care of the animals and things seemed to smooth over with my mother and my dad chalked it up to maybe she was menopausal.

Anyway - now things are worse ... I need a home for either the hounds or a place I can rent that will accept me with the hounds and my kids etc.

The dogs are picking up on her antagonistic attitude towards them and unfortunately they are getting snappy and growling lots which of course is making her (my mother) even more antagonistic towards them ... and the cycle is on.

So I need a home where I can live with the kids & hounds ... or, if I can't find a place to move to I need to find a home for the hounds.

I need to move anyway, I seriously need to get out of here ... the trick is finding a place that will let me keep the hounds. -- Unfortunately it seems landlords don't feel the same way I do in that animals are just as much a part of my family as any other two-legged member.

Rentals around here are few even for a small apartment is almost more than I can afford at the moment, but a place with a yard, or big enough to accomodate all of us or willing to allow the dogs are all way out of my league for price range.

Any suggestions or advice would be greatly apprecated. You can PM me so the thread doesn't get over-run if you wish. Unfortunately (from the comments before) there's not much I can do about my mother at this point she is very firm in what she is wanting, I can do nothing about her or the way she is ... my choices are few.

If there is anyone that lives close by from this group or if you know of anyone who lives within a reasonable travelling distance and is willing to maybe take the pups in, or can help me with finding them a good home would be greatly appreciated.

I'm feeling really torn up about this and if I had any other option I'd be taking it ... and if it was a valid option I'd be finding a home for my mother instead (sorry if that sounds harsh but at this point I'm at my wits end with her).

Sorry for the rambling ... thanks for your time.

 

[EccentricGirl42]

I'm sorry I can't be of any help, but I wanted you to know that I was thinking about you and hoping you are able to find a solution without having to give your bassets up.

What a terrible situation to be in - I just can't imagine what you must be feeling.

Good luck. I hope it all works out for the best.

 

[bcc11]

With it being the summer, is there a local child that would be willing to take the dogs out for walks? The kid could take them for walks seperately or you could hire two children. If you offered $10 or $20 a week, it hopefully wouldn't break your bank and the doggies would be tired enough that they wouldn't bother your mother. This might extend the time you have to find a new place to live.

Also, if your mother's behavior is changing, perhaps a trip to the doctor is called for?

Additionally, I'm not sure what you do for a living, but what about looking for a job at a doggy daycare center?

Do you have a version of www.craigslist.org in your area? You might look for a place to live on there or post what it is that you are looking for.

Good luck.


Colleen and Chloe

 

[charvie]

With it being the summer, is there a local child that would be willing to take the dogs out for walks? The kid could take them for walks seperately or you could hire two children. If you offered $10 or $20 a week, it hopefully wouldn't break your bank and the doggies would be tired enough that they wouldn't bother your mother. This might extend the time you have to find a new place to live.

Also, if your mother's behavior is changing, perhaps a trip to the doctor is called for?

Additionally, I'm not sure what you do for a living, but what about looking for a job at a doggy daycare center?

Do you have a version of www.craigslist.org in your area? You might look for a place to live on there or post what it is that you are looking for.

Good luck.
Colleen and Chloe[/b]

I actually have three kids myself, ages 10, 13 and 14 and now that school is out for the summer that will definately be one of their duties - walking the dogs and making sure they are let in and out of the house to the yard without them having to whine or bark - and poo patrol, etc ...

I've already quit a job and gotten a new one that was more accomodating so that I could be home more often during the day for my children and the hounds ... I take them for walks very regularly and at this point my mother is offended by thier mere presence that has nothing to do with their behaviour ...

... for example HER dog has chewed right through a door.... the laticework along the top of the fence ... dug up daffodils .... broken down two indoor gates we set up on the stairs so my dogs didn't go downstairs to my mother's area ... my hounds ? ... have destroyed nothing ... not one thing since being here. Their worst offense has been no matter what I do I can't seem to keep them off the couch *lol* But it's MY couch, so that shouldn't bother my mother, it has nothing to do with her.

Thank you for the craigslist idea I have posted on there that I am looking for a place ... cross your fingers for me - my best option is finding a new home for me and the kids (that will allow the hounds).

As far as getting her to a doctor, we have tried in the past, and unfortunately you can only help people who actually -want- to be helped or who will admit that there may be something wrong with themselves. So far no luck with that here. She insists all doctors are pill-pushers and refuses to go see anyone because "they just keep shoving prescriptions at me" ... she has been diagnosed as basically bi-polar in the past but she took herself off her medication and takes vitamins from the health food store.

Anyhow, thank you for your responses (and the PMs I got) ... please wish me luck in finding an affordable place to live that will allow me to keep the hounds ...

 

[Elvismom]

I have no advice, but hope that everything works out.

You are right about not being able to help someone who doesn't want help. I'm glad to see you aren't spending a lot of energy fighting a losing battle.

I hope you can find a place where you can all stay together.

 

[Soundtrack]

Why not contact the Basset Hound Club of BC, they appear to be involved in rescue.

The contact email on their site is here

Thier web site is here

Hopefully they should be able to help you with rehoming, should it be required.

 

[charvie]

Why not contact the Basset Hound Club of BC, they appear to be involved in rescue.

Hopefully they should be able to help you with rehoming, should it be required.[/b]

Thank you! Hopefully it won't come to that - I'm still looking for a place. But thanks for the info and links.

 

[Kaira]

I hope everything works out for you. That you find a home in a healthy distance
from your mother. What about Norway, that should be far enough.

Joking aside, people with mental problems like those you've mentioned does not
always get well, even when they themselves want to and they get the proper help.
You should focus on yourself and your family and it sounds like you do. I think it
might be smart not to confront your mother, hopefully you wont be living there for
long and no problems would be solved on that time. It takes years. I just want to
give you a little tip though, when you do move be firm with your mother when she
comes to visit. Make it clear that now she is in your home and should respect your
rules. I find that it easier to train people if one is consistent from the from the start,
just like dog training

I wish you luck, and I'm sorry I don't have any tips for you. Those rehoming
organizations do have private homes where they place the dogs utill they are able
to rehome them. They are volunteers that offers to take in dogs. At least this
is common here. Perhaps you could make some sort deal, that they will keep
your dog a short period of time all expenses paid and a little fee. At least it
would not hurt to ask.

 

[charvie]

I may have found a temporary solution to my problem ...

I work in renovations and restorations and I was introduced to someone who seriously needs a lot of help with their house. They moved downstairs so they could renovate upstairs, but the guy is a diver and fisherman by trade and didn't realize his "do-it-yourselfer" skills would be pushed to the extremes ... (he used a rock hammer to bash in the laminate when he couldn't get it to click in the way it's supposed to :blink: )

So anyway when he found out that I do a lot of the stuff he needs done he flipped.

He is willing to give me first month free rent, then a reduced rate rent if I'm willing to move in and do the work. He'll supply the materials though at his cost. But instead of paying me for labour it would come out of the rent. Then when the work is done he said we could negotiate the rent if I still want to live there.

He is aware I have 3 children, 2 hound dogs and 3 kittens and says that's all fine. He has no issues with that.

-=-=-=-=-=-

But here's the possible concerns ...

-- he is fresh out of rehab and admits he has a serious issue with alcohol ...
-- he and his teenage sons would be living downstairs ...
-- he has two campers parked on his property with "guests" from the rehab center until they manage to find work or a place to live ...
-- the house is only blocks away from where I currently live (with my mother) so I would still be easily accessable to her ...
-- I couldn't take any other jobs til I was done with this house ...
-- and of course the initial condition of the place right now ... it needs a LOT of work ... he pretty much has all the floors torn up right down to the subflooring in the bedrooms so that would have to be fixed (by me) before I could even move in ...

-- I would have to make darn sure I got everything in writing - BUT I couldn't afford a lawyer even if something did go wrong ...

-=-=-=-=-=-

Now the positive stuff:

-- it is a really nice house ... it's only 3 bedroom (same as where I'm at) but it's huge ...
-- I can keep my hounds ...
-- the yard isn't fenced, but it has a really large wrap around deck that he says I can build a dog run on one side of it ...
-- it is the same neighbourhood as my mother but she wouldn't be right downstairs and she'd have no say in whether or not my dogs could stay because it's not "her" home ...
-- if I have some free rent and reduced rent I can hopefully start saving some money for a vehicle of my own too ...

-=-=-=-=-=-

So until I can get all the details worked out I don't know if I'd just be jumping from the frying pan to the fire, but we'll see what I can work out and I'll keep you posted.

In the mean time, thanks again for the emails and pm's and replies I've gotten from you all.

It helps.

**big hugs**

 

[Elvismom]

Definitely worth pursuing!

While he could backslide, it's a positive thing that he owns up to his addiction. I'd keep an eye on it, but I have a hard time making decision of what "could" happen.

Keep us posted!

 

[Ed's best friend]

It sounds like a start anyway! Who would be left at home with your mom? Would she then be alone?

How do your kids feel about it?

Is there anyway you can get any assistance from your city or government?

I think you are in a situation right now that is not good for anyone. I think you should try it, and see if it works.

If it doesn't work, could you go back home? Could you discuss this with your mother? The moving out could possibly improve things with your mom.

Sorry for alot of questions, I am trying to see what I would be thinking if this was me!

 

[Betsy Iole]

Sounds like now would be a good time to take this discussion private, by means of PM/email. Best wishes to you, your two-leggers and four-leggers.