Do you ever get to the point where the ones gone are not a part of everyday thinking?

AmyB · 10-23-2011, 09:07 AM

Yesterday my brother was doing some work in my basement. I have a door leading from the basement to the yard which was standing open as my brother was hauling things in & out. I asked him, "Will Spencer bother you if I let him out, because I know he will be in & out the door?" My brother smiled & said, "Spencer won't bother me, but Clifford might." I thought of the recent post on "soul dogs." I think of Sadie everyday too, but "Spencer" still lives in my head & pops out of my mouth like he is still here, and it's been over a year since he went to the Bridge.

MollyMcFrecklesMom · 10-23-2011, 09:39 AM

In my experience, no. You just find a happy way to think of them every day. I catch myself almost calling Molly by Zoey's name sometimes. I think it's very similar to someone who has lost a human that is very close to them...they are in your thoughts every day. I lost my dad 7 1/2 years ago, yet I think of him daily.

Good memories replace the sad ones and that is the way we keep them with us every single day

charady2 · 10-23-2011, 09:53 AM

I still expect to see my rottie outside when I get home from work, he LOVED being outside. I have caught myself calling flash taz on occasion too. I just wish I could consistently remember that flash is not trained the same as taz! I sometimes expect too much out of him...and so does hubby. He is always saying taz knew better, taz didn't do this, etc...and I keep telling him they are two totally different breeds, there will definitely be differences!

We lost taz in January and some days it feels like it has been so much longer than that. I don't think I will ever forget the brute! I was even looking at his old vet records last night!

Barney'spal · 10-23-2011, 10:43 AM

Amy, you said it yourself. Sadie and Spencer---"always in my heart". There's enough room in our hearts for all of them....for different reasons in different ways. If I ever got to the point where I didn't miss the ones who were gone, I'd have to question myself, seems like I would have lost something important.

barneysmom2510 · 10-23-2011, 11:16 AM

I lost pepe 8 years ago and he is still always running through my mind. I do not cry as much as I used to which for many years was everyday.

newton'sdad · 10-23-2011, 08:05 PM

I can remember the name of and characteristic of all the dogs and cats that were members of our family. nine dogs seven cats. Some are thought of more than others. All but one are missed.

Mikey T · 10-23-2011, 08:09 PM

No, the say time heal all wounds but that is not the case it is always there you just get better at it not cause pain as time goes by and remebering the joy that came with it.

Lightning&Stomps · 10-24-2011, 11:07 AM

It took well over 10 years for me to not think of Chablis every day. Now when I do (which is still often but not every day), it is with great fondness instead of sadness. I've wanted to write a book about people's soul dogs. Maybe one of these days I will. I think Spencer would be in it.

gomer73 · 10-24-2011, 01:35 PM

It will be four years in May since we lost our corgi Dragon. The wife had him before we married so I got a step-dog. In the time before we got Ollie, we were constantly talking and thinking about the little quirks he would do. When food fell onto the kitchen floor with Dragon, we would call out "CLEAN UP" and the furry vacuum would be there in a flash. After he passed, it would be instinct to call him for his duty. Honestly, to me, if you dont remember there is something wrong.

bakinforbassets · 10-24-2011, 03:32 PM

I agree with gomer-if you don't remember there is something wrong. That said, it does get easier with time and you tend to only remember the good times and forget the remotes/cell phones destroyed. All my pets are right in my field and we walk past them on our walks everyday. I have small flat "stones" with their names and dates on them. I realize not everyone has that option but living in the country has it's advantages. I think knowing that you gave your pet the best life possible is one way of easing grief. All my animals are rescues and I shudder to think what their lives were like before living with me where they get to sleep in beds, lay on couches, have medical care when needed and most of all be loved.
Susan

10-23-2011, 09:07 AM	#1 (permalink)
AmyB Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Cincinnati, Ohio Posts: 1,855	Do you ever get to the point where the ones gone are not a part of everyday thinking? Yesterday my brother was doing some work in my basement. I have a door leading from the basement to the yard which was standing open as my brother was hauling things in & out. I asked him, "Will Spencer bother you if I let him out, because I know he will be in & out the door?" My brother smiled & said, "Spencer won't bother me, but Clifford might." I thought of the recent post on "soul dogs." I think of Sadie everyday too, but "Spencer" still lives in my head & pops out of my mouth like he is still here, and it's been over a year since he went to the Bridge. __________________ Amy, mom to Sadie (ATB, 6/9/06) & Spencer (ATB, 8/19/10) - always in my heart and Clifford (gotcha date 7/2/11).

10-23-2011, 09:39 AM	#2 (permalink)
MollyMcFrecklesMom Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Southeast PA Posts: 1,182	In my experience, no. You just find a happy way to think of them every day. I catch myself almost calling Molly by Zoey's name sometimes. I think it's very similar to someone who has lost a human that is very close to them...they are in your thoughts every day. I lost my dad 7 1/2 years ago, yet I think of him daily. Good memories replace the sad ones and that is the way we keep them with us every single day __________________ Michelle - proudly owned by Molly (21 mos) and Winston (14 months). Molly McFreckles' World: The adventures of a Basset Hound living with Addison's Disease and a baby brother named Winston

10-23-2011, 11:16 AM	#5 (permalink)
barneysmom2510 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Rockport ma Posts: 633	I lost pepe 8 years ago and he is still always running through my mind. I do not cry as much as I used to which for many years was everyday. __________________ -LISA Mini daschunds Sadie Lou & Daisy dukes Chihuahua Lola Bassett Hound Barney

10-23-2011, 09:53 AM	#3 (permalink)
charady2 Senior Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: Iowa Posts: 184	I still expect to see my rottie outside when I get home from work, he LOVED being outside. I have caught myself calling flash taz on occasion too. I just wish I could consistently remember that flash is not trained the same as taz! I sometimes expect too much out of him...and so does hubby. He is always saying taz knew better, taz didn't do this, etc...and I keep telling him they are two totally different breeds, there will definitely be differences! We lost taz in January and some days it feels like it has been so much longer than that. I don't think I will ever forget the brute! I was even looking at his old vet records last night!

10-23-2011, 10:43 AM	#4 (permalink)
Barney'spal Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: northern michigan Posts: 710	Amy, you said it yourself. Sadie and Spencer---"always in my heart". There's enough room in our hearts for all of them....for different reasons in different ways. If I ever got to the point where I didn't miss the ones who were gone, I'd have to question myself, seems like I would have lost something important.

10-23-2011, 08:05 PM	#6 (permalink)
newton'sdad Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Windsor, Va Posts: 125	I can remember the name of and characteristic of all the dogs and cats that were members of our family. nine dogs seven cats. Some are thought of more than others. All but one are missed.

10-23-2011, 08:09 PM	#7 (permalink)
Mikey T Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2000 Location: West Warrwick, RI Posts: 7,729	No, the say time heal all wounds but that is not the case it is always there you just get better at it not cause pain as time goes by and remebering the joy that came with it.

10-24-2011, 11:07 AM	#8 (permalink)
Lightning&Stomps Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Versailles, Ky. Posts: 1,203	It took well over 10 years for me to not think of Chablis every day. Now when I do (which is still often but not every day), it is with great fondness instead of sadness. I've wanted to write a book about people's soul dogs. Maybe one of these days I will. I think Spencer would be in it.

10-24-2011, 01:35 PM	#9 (permalink)
gomer73 Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Tacoma, WA Posts: 24	It will be four years in May since we lost our corgi Dragon. The wife had him before we married so I got a step-dog. In the time before we got Ollie, we were constantly talking and thinking about the little quirks he would do. When food fell onto the kitchen floor with Dragon, we would call out "CLEAN UP" and the furry vacuum would be there in a flash. After he passed, it would be instinct to call him for his duty. Honestly, to me, if you dont remember there is something wrong.

10-24-2011, 03:32 PM	#10 (permalink)
bakinforbassets Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: I live in East Tennessee. Posts: 66	I agree with gomer-if you don't remember there is something wrong. That said, it does get easier with time and you tend to only remember the good times and forget the remotes/cell phones destroyed. All my pets are right in my field and we walk past them on our walks everyday. I have small flat "stones" with their names and dates on them. I realize not everyone has that option but living in the country has it's advantages. I think knowing that you gave your pet the best life possible is one way of easing grief. All my animals are rescues and I shudder to think what their lives were like before living with me where they get to sleep in beds, lay on couches, have medical care when needed and most of all be loved. Susan

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