Mommy2MaggieMae

(I'm sure most of you have seen this before, but I couldn't resist posting. It always makes me smile.)

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however.. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't smoke or drink,
(7) don't want to wear your clothes,
(8) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ...

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- Laura

BassetHoundHank

LOL Hahaha! I've never read this before, but I love it. Oh the joys of our furry friends, daughters, sons!

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http://bassethoundhank.blogspot.com/
Visit Hank and me on our blog!

Boomer's Mom

Have read it a bunch of times, and it makes me smile and giggle every time. :-)

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Boomer: Born 4/18/2010
Biscuit: Rescued 1/26/12, approx. 2 yo

Chez Basset: Come for the kibble, stay for the belly rubs.

klm42005

I have only seen parts of it but it is priceless...thanks for sharing.

(ps. Woody has this habit that if one of gets up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom...he hears the toilet flush and rushes over to take the bathroom users spot -pillow and all_ then proceed to growl if the bathroom users tries to move him...makes me giggle almost everytime and just roll him anyways...._

Mommy2MaggieMae

This one is so true in my house.. not only for my basset but for my cocker, also. They are always tripping me up and down the stairs. It's a wonder I haven't fallen yet!

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- Laura

CatherineM

That pretty much covers it. Although with bassets once they get started down the stairs, they really can't stop.