Just for fun: Dear Pets...

Cassidy · 02-22-2011, 12:28 PM

I got a kick out of this when it was posted on FB. So I wanted to share it here:

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that it is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.....(*_*)

boudreaux's mommy · 02-22-2011, 12:36 PM

Too funny!
I know I wou

boudreaux's mommy · 02-22-2011, 12:37 PM

grr......... i wasn't finnished yet!
I know I would much rather pet sit than babysit!

Boomer's Mom · 02-22-2011, 02:20 PM

Very good; loved it!

mhvonalmen8908 · 02-22-2011, 03:22 PM

Love it, love it, love it!

SophieB · 02-22-2011, 05:50 PM

That's really funny and so true!!!

Abigail · 02-22-2011, 06:28 PM

I have seen this many times and crack up laughing everytime...

Untypically Jia · 02-22-2011, 08:22 PM

I'm so printing out that last part and hanging it on my front door!!!

Flushy's Lover · 02-24-2011, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cassidy

I got a kick out of this when it was posted on FB. So I wanted to share it here:

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that it is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.....(*_*)

that is true and the best thing ive ever seen

Kirska · 02-24-2011, 04:53 PM

If you don't want them pregnant, spay or neuter >.>

Other than that, I wholeheartedly agree with this.

02-22-2011, 12:28 PM	#1 (permalink)
Cassidy Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Portland, OR Posts: 165	Just for fun: Dear Pets... *I got a kick out of this when it was posted on FB. So I wanted to share it here:* The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that it is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required. The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door: TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS: (1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly. Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they: (1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't hang out with drug-using people; (7) don't smoke or drink, (8) don't want to wear your clothes, (9) don't have to buy the latest fashions, (10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and *(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.....(_)* __________________ Mom to Fergus aka Ferg-a-licious- a spunky, eats-everything boy.

02-22-2011, 12:36 PM	#2 (permalink)
boudreaux's mommy Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Northeastern Pennsylvania Posts: 23	Too funny! I know I wou __________________ Susan aka Boudreaux's Mommy Boudreaux's Midnight Fais Do-Do www.imagesbysusansmith.com

02-22-2011, 12:37 PM	#3 (permalink)
boudreaux's mommy Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Northeastern Pennsylvania Posts: 23	grr......... i wasn't finnished yet! I know I would much rather pet sit than babysit! __________________ Susan aka Boudreaux's Mommy Boudreaux's Midnight Fais Do-Do www.imagesbysusansmith.com

02-22-2011, 03:22 PM	#5 (permalink)
mhvonalmen8908 Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Sumter, SC Posts: 671	Love it, love it, love it! __________________ Megan & Chris -Mom & Dad to Doppler (2 year old Basset/Redbone/Golden mix) and Virga (1 year old Basset)

02-22-2011, 06:28 PM	#7 (permalink)
Abigail Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Southern California Posts: 2	I have seen this many times and crack up laughing everytime... __________________ Lisa Jo Abbey's Mom

02-22-2011, 02:20 PM	#4 (permalink)
Boomer's Mom Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Nebraska Posts: 1,736	Very good; loved it!

02-22-2011, 05:50 PM	#6 (permalink)
SophieB Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 839	That's really funny and so true!!!

02-22-2011, 08:22 PM	#8 (permalink)
Untypically Jia Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 56	I'm so printing out that last part and hanging it on my front door!!!

02-24-2011, 04:53 PM	#10 (permalink)
Kirska Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 933	If you don't want them pregnant, spay or neuter >.> Other than that, I wholeheartedly agree with this. __________________ Mom to Anabelle and Lila, rescued ladies and Harley, Corgi/Beagle/Basset/?? mutt "Saving just one dog won't change the world, but it surely will change the world for that one dog." - Richard C. Call

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