The effect of confinment are not the result of the size of the encloser but the deparvity of mental and physical stimulation, In most single dog households the dgo that is not crated or penned spends the vast majority of time sleeping just as the penned or crated dog because of the lack of mental stimulation. Including interactive toy, buster cubes, stuffed kongs etc can go along way in keep a pup stimulated which cuts down dramatically on destructive behavior.
If interested in interactive toy cleck out
Interactive toys for one of the larger selections in one location.
The fact the dog is confined is not the reason some are hyper when let out of confinement rather that is caused by thre factor two of which I already mention which confimenent can exaserbate but are easily overcome with some fore thought First is lack of mental stimulation, second is lack of physical exercise. As mentioned befored they physical exercise that a single dog gets when left alone to roam free in the house is not signicantly different that of a confined dog. Excersise is in either case going to occur only when you are hiome so you just have to include that in your schedule.
The thrid cause of overall hyperness is what I condsider one of the most important because it greatly effects how easy the dog is to live with and that is self control. What happens is to often people rely on the confinement to control the dog. rather than training the dog on how to behave appropriate in certain situations. By using the crate in this way the dog is often out of control because it has never be thought how to be in control. They also lack as much mental stimulation because during social encounter because they tend to be out of control they get crated away from it etc. This was my biigest conern when you mentioned using the crate to control the dogs behavior at meal time. Granted it is a streach to say your headed down the slippery path but it could be a step in that direction.
It appears you and your husband disagree on how extensive the use of confinement should be It is best to reach a comprise that you both can live with there appears to be a lot of middle ground to the position you both staked out. Keep in mind no one here knows your living situation nor Snicker's her personality etc so they are not in a position to tell you wlth any authority what is best, you have far more information to make that determination all we can do is offer some prospective and idea, concerns that you may not have considered.